More Fred Thompson Hilarity

TOP TEN FRED THOMPSON FACTS
1) Fred Thompson has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
2) Fred Thompson once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
3) Fred Thompson has counted to infinity. Twice.
4) Fred Thompson is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
5) The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Fred Thompson played in second grade.
6) When Fred Thompson goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
7) Fred Thompson’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
8) When taking the SAT, write "Fred Thompson" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
9) The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Fred Thompson. There were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.

10) Fred Thompson ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

MORE FRED THOMPSON FACTS

1. The U.S. Military once created a Fred Thompson submachine gun. They were unable to use it since firing it on the battlefield violated every single article of the Geneva Conventions (and common sense).
2. Unlike fire, Fred Thompson can melt steel.
3. If you took Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer, Optimus Prime, a .50 caliber Desert Eagle, a samurai sword, nachos, the lobby scene from the move Matrix, the computer game Doom, and a DVD set of the complete A-Team series and somehow took all their awesomeness and compressed into one thing, you'd still only have something half as awesome as what Fred Thompson flushes down the toilet after taking a crap.
4. Fred Thompson washes down his morning steak and eggs with a big mug of jet fuel.
5. Polls show that, in a presidential race between Hillary Clinton and Fred Thompson, the result would be that Hillary would vomit up her own heart and die.
6. The myth about the twelve labors of Hercules is loosely based on Fred Thompson Boy Scout career.
7. Fred Thompson can kill you just by thinking about you. Luckily, you're far too insignificant for him to think about.
8. Physicists say that nothing can escape a black hole or Fred Thompson.
9. Fred Thompson appears human sized because he is actually standing a million miles away.
10. According to Sura 8 verse 65 of the Koran, Allah told the Prophet Muhammad, "O Prophet! Urge the believers to war; if there are twenty patient ones of you they shall overcome two hundred, and if there are a hundred of you they shall overcome a thousand of those who disbelieve... but if you're up against Fred Thompson, you're totally screwed and I can't help you."
11. Inexplicably, Fred Thompson receives a copy of tomorrow's newspaper at his doorstep every morning. He uses it to wrap fish since Fred Thompson doesn't care about either today's or tomorrow's liberal slant on the news.
12. A short but accurate biography of Fred Thompson can be found in Jane's Tank & Combat Vehicle Recognition Guide.
13. While he is opposed to gay marriage, Fred Thompson is very compassionate towards gays since, in comparison to him, every man is a flaming homosexual.